Journal of a Subterra Brawler
by XxYuiChanxX
Summary: Gus Grav writes about his struggles while part of the Vexos and onwards. Rated T for possible language/swearing (will become stronger in later chapters) One Sided Romantic Gus x Spectra (for first chapter ONLY) Platonic Gus x Spectra (Chapter 2 onwards)


_**Journal of a Subterra Brawler**_

* * *

 _ **06/11/2007**_

 _Entry 1:_

 _I'm exhausted. They will **not** leave me alone, no matter how much I ask them. I get no respect whatsoever. They think I'm just a pushover. Heh. It's them. THEY ARE the pushovers, not me. I will show them. There's a Bakugan tournament coming up...one where the winner has a chance at joining and becoming a Vexos! That will show them. I'll win that tournament and get the respect I deserve! Just you watch! Vulcan and I will prevail! I'm not some pushover!_

* * *

 _ **06/28/2007**_

 _Entry 2:_

 _This cannot be...I lost! How could I have lost?! Spectra was right...I could not have beaten him the way I am...I'm beaten and broken. I have no where left to go. I'll never get the respect I deserve now...what's this..? The eye...? The eye of Helios is glowing! Is this the sign I was looking for...?_

 _Spectra appeared and told me to join him...I ended up in the Vexos anyway...maybe now I'll get that respect. He saved me...this is it. I vow my life to him. I will willingly die for his sake. That is my promise. You know, I think I've come to have feelings for Master Spectra...ones I'm not used to. Could I...could I possibly be in love with Master Spectra...?! No! Impossible! Bah, I don't know. Maybe I'll figure it out over time..._

* * *

 _ **06/29/2007**_

 _Entry 3:_

 _Hm...what a peculiar atmosphere...I was not expecting this. Everyone seems to be so high strung. Including myself, there is a total of six Vexos; seemingly one for each attribute. Heh...I guess that should be obvious. There is no other Subterra brawler here. Day one here was...interesting to say the least. All of the other brawlers, with the exception of Master Spectra, kept giving me weird looks. Hmph! They have no right to look at me like that. I'm no different from them from what I know. I know I'm new but...hm. I'll show them that I'm as good as them...no, **better**._

* * *

 _ **06/30/2007**_

 _Entry 4:_

 _Master Spectra had set up a tournament style brawl practice. He and I were the last ones standing! Heh. I told you that I'd show the others. Though, I only brawled a few of them. Who were they again...? Ah right. The Aquos and the Darkus brawlers. Hmm...unfortunately, I don't recall them telling me their names. Oh well. All I have left to completely prove myself is to beat the Haos and Ventus brawler. Master Spectra has given me respect and kindness already so I feel no need to win against him, which is why at the end of the brawl practice when I lost to Master Spectra I was not upset._

* * *

 _ **07/01/2007**_

 _Entry 5:_

 _Today was rather boring. We didn't do much. I've finally been told what everyone names are, formally. The Aquos brawler is Mylene Farrow; the only female on the team. The Darkus Brawler is Shadow Prove. I'm almost certain that the Aquos and Darkus brawler have a thing for each other. The Haos brawler is Volt Luster. He seems to be quite popular with younger kids; he seems to have a very gentle heart. Finally, the Ventus brawler is Lync Volan. I wonder why they recruited him? He's the youngest of the group being only 14. Oh well. The only one out of them that seems to actually have a head on their shoulders is Volt; possibly Mylene. Maybe with some "proper" training the others will have a head too..._

* * *

 _ **07/02/2007**_

 _Entry 6:_

 _I met the people we're supposedly working for. Prince Hydron and his father, King Zenoheld. The Prince is such a brat! He's constantly whining and has no second thoughts on ignoring people. It doesn't surprise me though, he obviously takes after his father. His father is just as bad! Except for The King doesn't whine, at least, not nearly as much as his offspring! I don't like either of them. Maybe if I talk to Master Spectra something can be done...?_

* * *

 _ **07/03/2007**_

 _Entry 7:_

 _I talked to Master Spectra about it. He doesn't seem to like that brat Hydron or the King either. He asked me if I wanted to join him in overthrowing the royal family and help him take their place. Of course I'll do that! I'll be his right side and confidant no matter what. Urgh...also...I've come to terms with my "feelings" for Master Spectra. They are definitely more then regular friend type feelings. I'm definitely in love with Master Spectra. I should probably talk to him about it...maybe tomorrow._

* * *

 _ **07/04/2007**_

 _Entry 8:_

 _Today ended up being my first mission, so I didn't have time to talk to Master Spectra about...that. I was paired up with him for the mission as I was the newest member and needed the most guidance. There wasn't much we had to do; just set up a few things and check up on a few cities. Though we ended up with a lot of time alone during the mission, I didn't have the courage to talk to him then. I just couldn't. Something from the core of my body was stopping me. So it's not exactly that I didn't have enough time, but more I couldn't talk. I can't talk to him now as it's 11:57. He's most definitely sleeping and I shouldn't wake him up...maybe I can talk to him tomorrow...maybe I will have courage tomorrow._

* * *

 _ **07/05/2007**_

 _Entry 9:_

 _It's currently 11:30. I went to bed a bit earlier today but I couldn't sleep. Maybe writing will help me sleep...today was a rather rough day for me. In the morning we did not do much at all, just ate breakfast and the usual morning routine. Well, a little after breakfast and such I decided to talk to Master Spectra. He told me that we could go talk in his room if it couldn't be heard by the others, so we went into his room. I...I told him about my feelings for him. He...he seemed very shocked. For the first 5 minutes (it seemed like an eternity though), he didn't say anything. Then after even more silence he answered me with "I'm sorry Gus." At first I didn't process exactly what happened. I guess I ended up asking him what he said. He said it again, "I'm sorry Gus," but this time he added; "I can't return those feelings to you." My heart felt like it shattered into a million pieces. Sure, I expected this, but I could've never have been prepared for the onslaught of feelings I felt; anger, sadness, confusion, all these just kept building up and all of a sudden overflowed. I...I don't think I've ever cried in front of someone before. Maybe my mother but, I barely remember. I just started to cry and I couldn't stop. My hands were covering my face. I couldn't allow Master Spectra to see me in such a state. After a little while, I felt a slight pressure around my shoulders. It took me a minute to realize that it was Master Spectra. "I'm sorry Gus. Though I cannot return these feelings you have for me, I want you to know that you are truly irreplaceable to me. I will gladly lay down my life for you as I can be assured you'll do the same for me." He tightened his grip slightly. "Though it's not in the same light as you, I really do love you." After calming down and making sure I didn't look like a sobbing mess, I left his room. For the rest of the day, neither of us could really look each other in the eye. I decided it would be a good idea to get rest earlier then normal because I don't remember the last time such emotions came over me. It absolutely drained me. The other Vexos seemed to notice something, but didn't ask about it. Urgh...I was such (and still am) an emotional wreck today. I...I should probably actually go to sleep now; it's 12:53. I didn't mean to write so much but there was just so much to write about. My vision is getting blurry from the lack of sleep and tears. Goodnight..._


End file.
